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Hi Daddy, Glad to have you join us here. May I ask you a few questions? How long have you been sober and clean? Do you have a sponsor? Have you talked with your sponsor about this?
Hey guys, I'm entering into a new relationship & don't want to F**k it up.past relationships have been done in w/my obsessive/compulsive behaviors. I'm open to any & all suggestions you have to offer. Please,HELP ME OUT...
Hi Daddy, Glad to have you join us here. May I ask you a few questions? How long have you been sober and clean? Do you have a sponsor? Have you talked with your sponsor about this?
6 1/2 yrs Yes i have a sponsor w/21 yrs clean & sober Yes i have talked w/him about it I'm currently doing another 1st step.
What i have heard and seen so much over time is people end up turning to the person as if they were their "higher power". It can ruin a relationship. Balance is key. Hold tight to your higher power.
She's in this relationship w/her 8 yr old boys father who lives in California.She lives 1000 miles away in Washington State. it's been this way for 10 yrs. he sends her 2,000 grand a month & she does nothing but take care of the boy & drink. She's sober now,tells me she loves me,but feels guilty about the involvement.I'm an insecure person & i want to talk to her every day.She tells me she cares,she tells me she has deep feelings for me,but feels guilty.is this making sense? I feel like we have a good thing,but it's clouded behind my obsession & insecurities along w/ her self made prison of insecurities.We are very honest w/each other & i know she doesn't want to hurt me,but ,my insecurities & obsession tell me how alone i am & have been w/o her in my life.I promised i wouldn't call her everyday & that will be tough.I talked w/my sponsor about it tonight & he said i'd be okay,that i'd work through it & just work the steps- I can't,He Can & i'll let him 1,2,3... Any more advice? Am I going to far w/this,or,have i already gone to far? I don't know how these type of friendships start,or,even how they work & niether does she.I was told "let her call me".... right or wrong?
You say she is sober now...Is she working the program? Suggestion might be foryou to get to some alanon meetings...
"...the process of discovering who I really am begins with knowing who I really don't want to be ."
AllaFlutter [always changing]
This is so normal in recovery...People really want to be a door men for others and be in co-dependent ...What type of relationship you calling that?...We become powerless of people , place and things..Dosent matter how many years you are sober when it is not quality soberity WHEN you put your life in dangers situation..check the promised is said right there,,..Go back to the big book and check in toi action..this chapter will tell you!! some us we drink use beacuse of un- healthy relationships that was killing us slowlly Drinking was in option to continued to be there keep doing the same thing INSANITY.. We expecting people to say they love us but how they love us when they are drinking and using ...In all the meeting been going some of the people deside to get back to drinking was because a relationship ..I been sober for some time and am powerless of people, place working the steps and doing my 10 step daily is been keeping me o way from INSANITY,,,there is always a desicion to made Recovery or Insanity Its UP TO US..
Eve Cabo..
Just one day at the time..
Hi....my thoughts are this woman is not available physically, mentaly or spiritually to you. She is obligated to someone else. That is enough to move on right there. if you are like me you will try to control the situation until it controls you. I would have to let go and move on to someone that is in a healthy place in their life, non-dependent on anyone else financially, physically, mentally or spiritually and guilt, by the way, is always a big indicator that you don't have all the facts and may not get them.
Hard stuff, I know, but good things come to good people who do good things. We get what we put out. You are a good guy that deserves the whole enchilada, not the stuff that has fallen on the floor. Hope this was received with as much compassion as I meant it to sound. Not so good at articulating.
"We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done." P 130, Alcoholics Anonymous
Thanx Sioux I let her know this evening that i wasn't going to be her "Only when i'm drunk" friend anymore. I wasn't playing the games anymore & to call me ONLY when she really needed a real friend. It hurts me inside,but,i think that is the lonley part of me inside that wants to hang on to her. I'm letting go & letting God. This is exactly why i used dope,to not feel what i'm feeling now. It Definitely Hurts. But,I see oppurtunity for growth here & she'll always be in my prayers...
I had an hour long conversation w/her wedn. am & she's a hell of a lot nicer when she is drunk. WOW!!! She was covering a lot of feelings. I think she fell in love w/me & didn't want to deal w/the reality. Just push it away,hide it,do whatever w/it.She threw out poisonous barbs,i'd throw one back & niether of us really hurt the other. Just got to know her a little better & vice/versa... I feel much better knowing both sides of her & like i said "she'll be in my prayers". Thanx Guys for the advice & from now on,i'm swearing off these types of BAD girls...
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