Step 9
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

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After this step we get the promises!!!
The first commandment of step nine is "talk to your sponsor before each amends." All circumstances are different and few hard and fast rules can be set here. You will need the advice and council of a well informed AA who themselves have had a sponsor --- and used that sponsor. Needless to say s/he should have completed the ninth step.
Making amends is not easy. It, like step five, demands that we have an honest face-to-face talk with another human being. In step five this person is a trusted friend but in step nine some of the people we approach may not be friendly. Now we may experience the horrible fear that if we make ourselves vulnerable to them it will give them an opening to hurt us very badly. Daring to risk this takes courage and a commitment to sobriety of which the casual observer never dreams. But the rewards are high. If we can dare to be honest and vulnerable to our enemies we can certainly allow our friends and comrades to love and support us in difficult times. If we do this step correctly we will never again have to look behind us, be afraid of police cars, be afraid to answer the phone or live with that web of fear woven though our lives.

If we read step nine carefully we are struck by the idea that we may need to approach a person more than once in making our amends. For instance the last line on page 76 says we "probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach." It goes on to say on page 77 that "we might kill a future opportunity to carry a beneficial message." Then it says "he will be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries."

It can easily be seen that a demonstration of good will is only going to happen over a course of time. So Bill is telling us that we must not only make amends to these people but perhaps make a second or third approach. If we are going to be of "maximum service to God and the people about us," we may be required to live happily with these people throughout our lifetime.


A wonder working tool for step nine

Want to do a really good amends? Ask the person you are making amends to for their advice in changing your live. Let them explain to us at length. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is as important to a person as someone asking for their advice. Remember how difficult it is for us to take directions. That is because we think our prized judgement is better than anyone else. The same is true here. When we ask for their judgement, you can bet they will believe you are sincere. It both lets them feel in control and lets them feel safe about our visit. If both of you have disliked each other they may think they have won the war of the wills. This is no matter. What they think is their affair.

Asking them for their advice also reinforces the idea that "I was wrong." Perhaps the easiest way to make a friend is to ask them for help or advice. We need not think this hypocritical. After all, we have been doing the opposite of the spiritual thing, so our enemies may have the perfect answer for our problems. If the situation is right we may, upon leaving, ask our new friend if they will help us more later should we need it. This, if it can be honestly said, is bound to leave them feeling good about our new relationship. If not, nothing has been lost and we have tried our best.

Remember too, we are making amends. If they are due an apology, we make the apology. If we owe money, we make arrangements to repay it. If we took from their time and comfort we try to set that right as well. Making amends is different from just apologizing. We can phony up an apology, but we cannot phony up making a weekly payment for years to set right a past debt, we have to actually pay it.

http://webpages.charter.net/rfhale/step9.htm